Releases

YOU'RE NICKED I've had to be ruthless about the length of You're Nicked, my sensitive exploration of bizarre crimes. There were just so many idiots jostling to get into this book. The bank robbers who forget where they parked the getaway car. The carefully planned ATM thefts where the cash machine falls off their lorry and they can't get it off the ground again. My 'old people' section could have taken over! So I've had to leave out the man who turned up in a bank in Co Cork and shouted 'This is a stick-up!' He had his coat folded over his arm and waved it around as if it was a gun. His coat slipped, showing his arm and … no gun. So he yelled 'It's an invisible gun!' and left to gales of laughter.	Paperback: 160 pages Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing Ltd (24 Sep 2007) Language: English ISBN: 1906051097
THE MOST INTIMATE PLACE 'I looked over at her lying on the bed. At the elegant way her spine curved from the dress at her waist down to the divide of her beautiful arse.I decided to kiss her again. You won't bite me now, Helen, I thought. I'm going to kiss you, and you won't bite me again.' Patrick Price-Johnson is on remand for the murder and intimate assault of a woman priest. THE MOST INTIMATE PLACE is the story of how he reached that desperate point. It begins as a mundane article for a local rag but when girlfriend Julia gets involved the stakes are raised. Patrick finds himself manipulated into a piece of literary detective work revolving around the theological doctrine of midrash that will uncover a Church of England sex scandal. Or so he thinks. It's a journey that will drag him through fear, hypocrisy and despair to the darker side of love and faith and a sad question: is unrequited love the only love that lasts? "THE MOST INTIMATE PLACE is a sophisticated literary thriller, as theologically shocking as it is compelling." - Anjali Pratap of literary agents AP Watt.	Publisher: Maia Press (Early 2009)
I SUE YOU I SUE YOU is a collection of daft court cases from all over the world, published in October 2006 by Crombie Jardine. A long time ago in a galaxy far away I read law at Cambridge and worked as a City solicitor. I always suspected that some day this experience could come in handy. YOU'RE NICKED has been commissioned for next year, a collection of silly crimes and criminals. It's a rich seam.	Paperback: 160 pages Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited (2 Oct 2006) Language: English ISBN: 1905102925
WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET A ghost novel for the 12+ age group about a family living in a haunted abbey in Greenwich, south east London. The first professional person I showed it to said, 'I jut love all these zany characters.' They are of course my family. Or they were when I started writing. 'This book is wonderful: funny, frightening, compulsively page-turning and all in all a rattling good read.' Says cartoonist and author Martin Rowson. Tim is a 10 year old who knows that science explains everything, and that what you see is what you get. His 13 year old sister Rox believes in seances and ghosts and wants nothing more than to meet an evil spirit. Pity the evil spirit. Then Grandpa dies and Gran's not doing well on her own, so the family and Gran move into new flats in Greenwich Abbey. On their very first day in the new flat, Tim and Rox have experiences that feel far from right. Soon Rox feels sure that somebody died in the Abbey long ago, somebody who is still around, seething with anger and set on murder. Tim examines the situation more scientifically until he realises that he has only one solid fact, that a ghost is out to kill him.	Paperback: 160 pages Publisher: Wolfhound Press (25 Jun 2004) Language: English ISBN: 0863279244
HIC! On my Waterstone's page you'll find HIC! This is Julian Curry's excellent one-man show, nurtured and directed by Michele Costa Lukis, about the history of wine. It's an hour of laughter and scholarship and leaves you gasping for a glass of fine red. Julian played Claude Erskine-Brown, husband of the Portia of our Chambers, in Thames Television's Rumpole of the Bailey. He's also a Master of Wine. When Julian wanted to turn the script into a book with illustrations by Chris Duggan, I was happy to help. I didn't write it, I just joined it up for them, and recommend both the book and the show.	Paperback: 68 pages Publisher: Vinum Bonum (28 Sep 2001) Language: English ISBN: 0954105001